HEAVY :: HEART

"Don't wake me up

I am

Trying to find you

Oh, as I walk through

You're hiding in my corners of my mind"

I've lost reign of my heart... the quarrel of my emotions left in an abyss with no address.. only allowing destruction to have an everlasting consumption of everything I am... I am.. absent..exhausted and defeated by thoughts with an agenda which pierce through my emotional state. 

"I know your love weighs

Heavy on my heart

But you are my only counterpart"

Your ruthless behavior only brings my untamed perception of this reality to yearn for your forgiveness... 

"Cause BABY... I never meant to bring you pain"

When you ache I ache, "an eye for an eye" right? NO... my soul bound to yours only now to be intoxicated by unruly feelings .. with failed attempts to sedate myself with distilled spirits...

Allow me to restore the balance...

"Cause BABY... my HEART... it belongs to YOU"

WICKED :: ENDEAVORS

"Bring the drugs baby I can bring my pain
I got my heart right here, I got my scars right here"

Sleepless nights, alone, in deep thought. A numb soul, with a tainted heart, in search of acceptance. My purest form of bliss only transpires when I pierce her flesh. Love has become a feeling of the past with no point of return. A dark persona, conceptually put together to lead the close astray.

"Take you down another level
Get you dancing with the devil"

LOVE::HATE

"when my story’s told, how will they tell it? /
will they say I was a giver or will they say I was selfish /
will they say I was a sinner or pretend I was a saint"

How will they label me? Usually I paint my thoughts in controversial verbiage, but the message is intended for the simple minded. I've been challenged, tested, mislead and lied to, and still I rise. I've shared the little I have, not expecting anything in return, yet they continue to consume and diminish me, without a care...

"will I go down as a winner, whats the picture they gon paint /
wouldn’t say that I’m a quitter thats one thing I know I aint /
will they tarnish, will they taint? /
glorify me, overthink, say they know me, say I’m great /
say I’m phoney, I was fake /
say the things about me they never told me to my face /
I was loved I was hated /
just a n-gga with a dream" - J.Cole

LOST::PROVISIONAL DEVOTION

"I lack the necessary tools to help me get right/ So take your place as the temporary savior" - Woman Tonight - Felt

I maneuver thru secular devotion and avoid metaphysical divinity... Grand illusions created by flesh, my mind in disarray... falsely stating "it'll be ok." And then I ponder some more, create personas, to acclimate "self" and explore my environment to induce blind trust... "You see I loved hard once, but the love wasn’t returned... Though my eyes saw the deception, My heart wouldn’t let me learn"

UNBALANCED::LOST IN TRANSLATION

-I had a convo with my soul I asked it, "When will this shit change?"

My manifesto lost in translation, tainted by false loves, resurrected by her inimitable inducement / Only to create moments of disparity with no novelties/ but I rise beyond the aphrodisia and announce peace to my soul/ balance restored thru self preservation.....

RANDOM::ISH

So... Thoughts and Ish always on my mind... I think, ponder, n wonder... Only to always come to another question, or suggestion but never the answer... I love, care, n admire... but always in dire need of something more, something abstractly desirable... thats all I "ASK OF YOU".... ??? Eh.. maybe