"Bring the drugs baby I can bring my pain I got my heart right here, I got my scars right here"
Sleepless nights, alone, in deep thought. A numb soul, with a tainted heart, in search of acceptance. My purest form of bliss only transpires when I pierce her flesh. Love has become a feeling of the past with no point of return. A dark persona, conceptually put together to lead the close astray.
"Take you down another level Get you dancing with the devil"
"when my story’s told, how will they tell it? / will they say I was a giver or will they say I was selfish / will they say I was a sinner or pretend I was a saint"
How will they label me? Usually I paint my thoughts in controversial verbiage, but the message is intended for the simple minded. I've been challenged, tested, mislead and lied to, and still I rise. I've shared the little I have, not expecting anything in return, yet they continue to consume and diminish me, without a care...
"will I go down as a winner, whats the picture they gon paint / wouldn’t say that I’m a quitter thats one thing I know I aint / will they tarnish, will they taint? / glorify me, overthink, say they know me, say I’m great / say I’m phoney, I was fake / say the things about me they never told me to my face / I was loved I was hated / just a n-gga with a dream" - J.Cole
"I lack the necessary tools to help me get right/ So take your place as the temporary savior" - Woman Tonight - Felt
I maneuver thru secular devotion and avoid metaphysical divinity... Grand illusions created by flesh, my mind in disarray... falsely stating "it'll be ok." And then I ponder some more, create personas, to acclimate "self" and explore my environment to induce blind trust... "You see I loved hard once, but the love wasn’t returned... Though my eyes saw the deception, My heart wouldn’t let me learn"
-I had a convo with my soul I asked it, "When will this shit change?"
My manifesto lost in translation, tainted by false loves, resurrected by her inimitable inducement / Only to create moments of disparity with no novelties/ but I rise beyond the aphrodisia and announce peace to my soul/ balance restored thru self preservation.....
So... Thoughts and Ish always on my mind... I think, ponder, n wonder... Only to always come to another question, or suggestion but never the answer... I love, care, n admire... but always in dire need of something more, something abstractly desirable... thats all I "ASK OF YOU".... ??? Eh.. maybe
